So I was in church this weekend, listening as my pastor gave a sermon partly about having a hungry, humble heart. At the end of the service, I prayed for God to make me hungry for him and also to bring humility into my life. My husband and I had arrived at church separately so I said I’d see him at home as we to separated in the lobby to head to our respective corners of the church parking lot. I walked briskly. The air was chilly plus I was supposed to be meeting my parents at my house and was concerned that they would arrive before I did. I was thinking about this when before I knew it, I was on the ground. I had stepped on a rock which threw me off balance and had me tumbling to the ground, my Bible, phone, keys and purse flying from me as I fell. Two women walking ahead of me must have heard me fall. I don’t’ think I cried out, but the sound of me slapping the concrete with the side of my body must have travelled to their ears even in the midst of the conversation they were having with each other. They backtracked to me asking if I was okay, was I hurt. I replied I was fine as I picked myself off of the ground as modestly as I could in a short, strait skirt. One woman picked up my things while the other one wipe dirt off my arm and told me not to be embarrassed.
“I’m not embarrassed,” I told her, “This happens to me all too often for me to get embarrassed anymore.” It was true. I am clumsy and fall down often. I probably should have been embarrassed that two strange ladies, and probably a few other people, saw me splayed undignified on the parking lot tarmac of my church. But it was just too common of an occurrence for me to waste energy being embarrassed about it.
One of the ladies shared a funny story of herself sifting through a clothing rack in Dillard’s and without warning, falling to the ground. She had no explanation for why she had fallen but it was something she had found so funny that her laughing drew the attention of the elderly lady employee nearby who asked if she needed an ambulance all while this woman’s husband looked on shaking his head.
In the parking lot, I laughed with her, a feeling of kinship passed between us. I thanked the ladies for their concern and continued to my car, realizing how quickly God answered my prayer for humility in my life. The irony made me smile as there have been so many other prayers I have prayed that would have made me come out looking so much more poised that God has yet to answer for me. Maybe a prayer for more humility is a favorite of God’s so He moves those to the top of his list. Whatever reason, I am thankful-I really am- that He saw fit to allow me to unceremoniously fall to the ground near those ladies. Why? Because of what God was teaching me. The lady that shared the story about her fall in Dillard’s, also said something that stuck with me. She said, “You are not alone, we all do it.” She meant, of course, that for some reason and to the chagrin of our male counterparts, we women seem to trip and fall many times over the course of our lives and often with very small objects like an uneven pavement or a rock as the cause. But I also took her statement as God reminding me that we all fall in life. At some point in our lives, because we are all messed up with sin, we all find ourselves in some undignified position or another in front of other people. Many people pretend they don’t see, but many others like these ladies, take time to turn away from their paths, come to where we’ve fallen, and without judgment dust us off and help us pick ourselves back up. By the way, humility and humiliation are different, though. God isn’t trying to belittle me and make me feel worthless. Instead is He is trying to remind me that I am not perfect and that I can’t make it through this life all alone. Humility allows us, sometimes forces us, to rely on others for help when we otherwise might not. A lesson I needed as I am terribly independent not wanting to rely on others or feel obligated to them in any way. As always, my life is a work in progress. A week from now, someone may try to help me out and I don’t accept because I completely forgot what God taught me when I fell in the parking lot at church. Hopefully though, there will be times I remember. And with God’s help, if I remember often enough, it will be one more small part of my life that is transformed.
This was wonderful! Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteShannon, that was very inspiring!! I will be following you here and looking forward to reading more!
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