All I have to do is Ask

I don’t know how you guys pray, but my prayers tend to be more like me telling God what to do.  You know, kind of like the following:

Dear God, make all the traffic lights green on the way to work. 

Dear God, let this be a better day than yesterday.

Dear God, make all of my students behave and do what I ask them to do.

Dear God, open this door for me because I really want to walk through it.

Dear God, give me a sign so I know what to do.

Dear God… well, I think you know what I mean.  I pray this way all of the time, and then wonder when is God going to move?  When will I see His hand at work in my life?  I pray earnestly, genuinely.  I really want God to guide me and help me and I have always thought that by praying this way, I was inviting Him into my life to lead me.  But more often than not, I’ve felt frustrated because I didn’t see evidence of God answering my prayers.  I felt disappointed and didn’t know why God didn’t hear me.  Recently, though, my pastor gave a sermon that was a revelation to me. 

 During a sermon, my pastor was encouraging his church to pray specifically and to ask God for an answer.   Immediately, doubt filled my heart.  God would not answer me like that.  That was my first thought upon hearing his words.    My pastor seems to have such a close intimate relationship with God that while I have often desired such intimacy, I have felt it was not something I would ever attain. Honestly,  I don’t read my Bible as I should, I sometimes don’t attend church, I often  get so caught up in worldly things and attitudes that I feel so unworthy to ask God anything.

As I tried to push away the doubt I was feeling, I realized that fear played a part in the way I prayed as well. I think that I am a little leery of how God would answer. What would He ask me to do?  What if I don’t want to do it?   But after hearing this sermon, I thought I would take this approach with my prayers and an amazing thing happened.  God answered.  Yes, it was Him, unmistakably, and though the answer was a little out of my comfort zone, I decided to follow through.

The prayer I prayed was about my students.  Usually I pray, “God help me love my students the way you love them.”  Not a bad prayer, if I do say so myself.  And I meant it.  But then I would go about my day and I didn’t feel as if I was acting any differently toward them than on a day I didn’t utter that prayer.  I guess I was expecting that God would put me on automatic pilot and take control of my speech and actions.  Probably that is not how God works since He is big on the free-will thing.  So this time I asked God, “What can I do to show your love to a student today?”    I asked the specific question and received a specific answer just like my pastor said would happen. 

I need to give you some context.  One of my students had recently shared that her mother was in critical condition after having a heart attack.  I had been praying for the mom and told the girl as much.  She seemed to appreciate it.  I felt like I had communicated my sympathy to her which is a very “Christian thing to do”, right? 

But after praying that prayer, “What can I do to show your love to a student today?” I knew God wanted me to give the girl’s mom a get well card.   Please understand, this is not something I would normally do. Many of you are probably wonderful at communicating good will with cards, but sadly I rarely send cards or notes.  It is just not something that pops into my head to do.  And I have never sent a card to a parent of one of my students.  Which is one reason I knew that this was God’s answer to my prayer.  Another reason is that as soon as I prayed, the thought filled my head.  It took me a few days to do it, but God kept reminding me.  Finally, one night at home, I found a small blank card with the verse Jer.29:11  on it.   I had heard this student talk about her mom taking her to church.  So I thought the mom might appreciate the verse.

Yet I was nervous.  What do you write to someone you’ve never met?  Well, I wrote what I had told the daughter,  which was that  I was praying for her recovery. A simple message. I gave the card to the daughter who seemed willing enough to pass it on to her mom.  This was not an easy thing for me to do.  I don’t often extend myself into my student’s personal lives. However, I knew God wanted me to do it. 

I  don’t know if the mom received it or what she thought of it, but in the end that doesn’t matter.  The result is up to God.  What matters is I prayed, God answered, and I obeyed.  This experience has given  me a better understanding of a few of the verses I learned as a kid:

 ⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8

Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. ²² If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” -Matthew 21:21-22

Through this experience, God has also reminded me of another time that I asked and He answered.  I grew up in a predominantly male household with no sisters.  So it is quite understandable that from about the time I was fourteen,  I began thinking of what it would be like to have my own children and I prayed for a daughter.  Just one daughter… I would plead.    God answered this prayer twofold, giving me two beautiful girls.  Somewhere along the way, my faith has faltered and as a result my prayers changed.  Now, they are changing again.  I look forward to more answers to my prayers as I ask God to guide me in more specific ways.